I'm hungry...Let's grab some club

If you are like me, then you have a difficult time getting it right in the "club scene". There are so many variables to consider. Do I have too many or not enough paint splotches on my shirt? Is there a way to make my jeans darker and tighter? I see all these emo kids wearing women's jeans. In fact, a personal hero of mine, Ashlee Simpson is married to a conosseuer of this particular style. Is it still considered "cool" to buy women's jeans if you are buying them at Ann Taylor? Whatever the fashion is, I am never secure or comfortable in my own avatar.

When approaching a two-set in the club scene I always try to seem as fucked up as possible so that the ladies will know I party. However, it is a delicate dance to keep up a "this guy party's" image without getting pigeonholed  into the "this guy wants to rape me" category. If you, like me, sometimes teeter to far into the latter category then do what I do and wear Crocs everywhere. That way people will know you don't mean any harm, because they'll know you're gay.

If I am lucky enough to keno escalate with my target and bounce her to a second location, preferably my house, then I can get down to business. After offering the lady a Miller Chill or Bud Light Lime, its time to sit back and watch the sparks fly. And by sparks, I mean the movie adaptation of author Nicholas Sparks' award winning novel, The Notebook. If you are unable to get a copy of this movie, or have watched it so many times that the laser cannot read the disc anymore, then don't be scared to settle for The Fountain with Hugh Jackman. If you don't have either of these movies then you are just an idiot and shouldn't be out ruining my club scene.